Help Me Find A Man: Who, Him? No Way!
Have you ever had those moments when your heart goes “God, help me find a man”, and then a guy asks you out on a date and your brain says “God, no!”?
Well, you’re not alone. A lot of women realize that finding a soul mate online isn’t about saying yes to every guy who asks them out and then sifting through the coal to find a diamond. It’s about knowing what you want, but it’s also about knowing what you don’t want. Here are some tips that can help you identify the dates that you definitely want a rain check on – until forever!
Does He Have One Of The Top 3 Deal-Breaking Characteristics That You Hate?
If he picks his teeth for 45 minutes after a meal and you can’t stand that because your Dad used to annoy you with that habit when you were a little girl, say no! It doesn’t have to be something annoying – it just has to be one of your top 3 “instant irritants”! It could be the way he laughs or the way he talks derogatively about others, or any such habit that you just can’t sttand. It’s better to say no now, rather than to put up with it for the rest of your dating life together.
Does He Have Values That Are Different To Yours?
Basic shared values are very important in a relationship. Finding a soul mate, then, is not just about how well you gel physically, emotionally and intellectually, but also morally and spiritually. If your deep faith in God isn’t reciprocated by your mate, then you’re probably in for a rough ride. There will be constant bickering about who is right and who should change. Avoid that path unless “find me a man” refers to finding any and everything with a deep voice that walks on two legs!
Does He Have The Potential To Physically Harm You?
Have you seen flashes of uncontrollable rage in this guy? Have you seen him ill-treating animals, for example? Such control freaks won’t like it if you’re too independent, so if you treasure your independence, then stay away from the male that uses strength to intimidate people. It could be you next.
When You Are Both On Different Relational Planes
If you’re looking at finding a soul mate and the guy is just out for a one night stand, then you’re not on the same page. The best relationships are those between people with similar goals – at least as far as their own lives are concerned. If the situation is flipped, it could turn out the similarly disastrous, because you’re not ready and he’s walking around with a ring in his pocket!
Any of these above factors could adversely affect your relationship, so it’s better to avoid them altogether unless it’s a special case where both of you are willing to make an effort to change yourself for the other person.